Books to Movies: The Fantastic Four

By William R. Davis, Jr.

The most puzzling bi-product of a comic book movie renaissance that has propelled modern superhero mythos to the forefront of American pop culture is the lack of a successful Fantastic Four film franchise.  There have already been two films that were not deemed financially successful enough to warrant a third, and one separate film that should stand the test of time as the worst superhero film adaptation ever created. Neither have produced anything but derision from fans and critics alike.

The murky ownership status of the Marvel franchise by Fox has been responsible for the inability to capitalize on the greatest superhero team and rogues’ gallery in the history of sequential art. To wit, the elements of high science fiction mixed with fantasy are sui generis to the point where these films should be writing themselves. A nice balance is drawn by Johnny Storm and The Thing, keeping the series grounded, while offering limitless story telling potential through the once in a generation mind of Reed Richards and the stability and resourcefulness of invisible woman, Susan Storm. The initial Kirby and Lee run in itself offers us The Silver Surfer, Galactus, The Inhumans, and Dr. Doom. A greater collection of antagonists has never existed in the history of comics. Why then, are attempts to create films worth watching continuing to fail spectacularly?
The answer lies in the focus. To date Fox has not respected its audience enough to concentrate on strong science fiction storytelling as opposed to painting the characters as wholesome and family friendly. This regrettably comes at the expense of making rich, iconic protagonists and antagonists an afterthought, and is directly responsible for the inability to create a coherent and compelling narrative worthy of its heady roots.


What does any of this have to do with back issues? Well, let’s look at two Fantastic Four runs that would make no less than nine solid films with the right creative team. We can also assume that Peter Jackson has been excluded from the short list for peaking at Return of the King, destroying The Hobbit, and more than likely ruining the Fantastic Four franchise by producing and directing thirty six films.

Fantastic Four 1-48
This run is included in many college syllabi for the simple reason that it set the foundation for the modern superhero. In this run alone we have Namor, The Inhumans, Mole Man, Dr. Doom, and last but not least, the introduction of Silver Surfer and Galactus. Any filmmaker worth his salt is going to start right here. Not only would it give the new generation an introduction to the team, but these forty eight issues encapsulate the essence of everything that makes this franchise worth studying at an academic level. These are no highbrow books, however. Kirby and Lee created entertainment for children that transcended what was previously considered a low form of art and storytelling, making comics appeal to adults for the first time in history. I’ve never written a screenplay or sat behind a camera, but I guarantee without a doubt that I would be cranking out hit films in no time. This run is just that good.

Hickman Fantastic Four and FF
Brent, if you’re reading this I was wrong. While I have always been an FF fan, before I was introduced to Hickman's Fantastic Four/ FF I considered myself a bit of a purist, refusing to read anything containing Franklin and Valeria. When this run was suggested to me I initially brushed it off. Eventually my mind kept returning to these highly lauded books and the realization that the guy who suggested them to me had great taste in comics. After finally overcoming my stubbornness, it took little time to realize that Hickman created a modern masterpiece that stands along side Kirby/Lee's contribution to the timeless franchise. It has everything from the death of Johnny Storm, to the creation of the Future Foundation, and Galactus becoming the herald of Franklin Richards. It would literally be the best act three in the history of the superhero film genre. For any Fantastic Four fan this run is literally the crème de la crème. Younger generation comic fans would probably find it the most enjoyable. Any science fiction fan reading these books will be standing up and cheering by the end. Guaranteed.

There you have it, Hollywood. Call me and I will quit my job to come be your consultant. Gather the troops. Let’s make 5 billion dollars.

REVIEW: The Coven #1-3

Publisher: Awesome Comics
Words and Pictures: Jeph Loeb and Ian Churchill
Inks: Norm Rapmund
Review: Art Bee

Once again I have been digging in the back of the closet and this time my endeavor has produced something nice in The Coven. Time had buried the memory of this book for a long time, but it came racing back as I turned the pages. This series was one of the better books produced by Awesome Comics after they split off from Image in 1996. Fortunately for all of us, they folded in 2000. Most of the comics produced were complete trash in my opinion.

The Coven is almost a cookie-cutter copy of X-men, Avengers, or any other superteam. About the only thing that separates The Coven from the others is most of the characters and story elements are blended with the occult. The first issue of the series will definitely leave you shaking your head thinking this has all been done before, but if you give the storytellers just a bit of a chance, they do get better with time.

One of my very favorite qualities of this story is the creator’s use of opposing duality interwoven with many of the characters and story elements. For instance; the leader of the Coven, Blackmass, is a very large and super strong, but if he condenses his body (becoming smaller), he gains strength and toughness. The character called Scratch is a half demon, but he is also a priest by nature. I love when creators do this. It adds such an interesting dynamic to the story. Every character in this series has had a lot of thought and effort invested into them.


Another great quality of this series is the artwork. The artwork is absolutely gorgeous! These guys really went all out on every panel. Some of the full page and double page graphics are some of the best work I have ever seen. I really wish I could get some of the originals or prints to hang on my walls.

The great drawback to all of this is the creators’ opinion of their readers. They must think the reader is stupid. When scenes change, especially in the first issue, they say “in the present” or “now”. No other time frame is used in the issue! We assume it is now unless you say or indicate otherwise. In issue two, they say “in the middle of the night”, meanwhile the following panels show a night sky. Really? It is amazing they give us credit for being able to read!

Regardless of the writers’ opinion of us, this is a really good series to read. It has a lot going for it, so if you happen to catch one in a box of back issues, pick it up.

REVIEW: Magnus Robot Fighter #45

“The Geomancer Quest” pt. 3 of 4
Writer: Antony J.L. Bedard
Penciller: George Saravia
Inker: Gonzalo Mayo
Colorist: Mark Csaszar
Review: Will Dubbeld

Because what’s not to love about a guy in a miniskirt and go-go boots who destroys robots with his bare hands?

I was a big Valiant Comics fan back in the days of yore.  A wide-eyed youth who was all aboard for this new company spearheaded by Jim Shooter, who I recognized from the Marvel Bullpen snippets in my favorite back issues rescued from quarter bins.  I hadn’t any inkling of interpersonal bad blood between creators or management, instead believing fully that Marvel was the happy-go-lucky scene as presented in editorial caricatures and Stan’s Soapbox.
Halcyon days, ladies and gentlemen.
In any case, 1989 saw the launch of Valiant Comics and their handful of fair-to-middling original characters and another handful of totally sweet licensed characters from old Gold Key comics, chiefly amongst them Magnus Robot Fighter.
Sidebar: Valiant beats out Image by 3 years to be the first splinter company founded by grumpy ex-Marvel staffers. Valiant books were better, as far as I was concerned . . .
So I didn’t know doodly-squat about the Magnus of yesteryear, but I did know this cat exploded robots with a punch and that was enough to muster preteen interest.

Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end, and comics got so bad, I had to break up with them for about a decade. 1992-93 hit me with the triple threat of DC’s Knightfall, Marvel’s Maximum Carnage, and Valiant’s Unity and I threw my hands up in disgust and walked out. It took 2001s New X-Men run helmed by Grant Morrison and Frank Quitely to draw me back into the fold. During my hiatus, 7 shades of hell had broken lose in comicdom, and Magnus Robot Fighter no.45 is no exception to the rule.

At some point Valiant had been purchased by Acclaim (of video game renown) and had taken a general turn down a toilet bend in terms of quality.  I’ve got a smattering of Valiant issues from the Acclaim era from friends, quarter bins, or that old chestnut “10 mystery comics for $8!”, and they are almost universally horrible. Gone were the robot fighting glory days, as evidenced by the front cover featuring Magnus fighting several not-robots. The book opens with a dialogue box proclaiming “An ice cavern on Neptune’s moon, Triton: 4020 A.D.” and a scene depicting stereotypical, science-fiction grubby space miners fighting in a cavern.  This immediately reminded me of Star Trek VI, or whichever one it was where Spock and Kirk are exiled to a stereotypical grubby science-fiction space mine and hang out with David Bowie’s wife.  Instead of a Shatner/Nimoy double threat, I was treated to Magnus Robot Fighter, Jr. (whose name I infer to be ‘Torque”) imprisoned (for some reason) and hanging out with an amnesiac Armstrong.
Of Archer and Armstrong fame.
Anyone? No?
Well, hell with it. I knew who he was.

Magnus, Jr. and his adventure is juxtaposed with intrigue in the Calizona Sector of Earth (which actually sounds like a cool Judge Dredd sorta thing) where Leeja Clane, Magnus’ ladylove and now wife, is searching for her lost husband and bedeviled by a mind-controlling little weenus named Stimpert.
Not since the villainy of Seeker 3000s Jason have we seen an antagonist so unintimidating.

Eventually father, son, mother, and Armstrong are reunited via various storyteller fiat and Magnus kills Stimpert by robot-fighting him right in the forehead. To quote, “Someone call E.M.S.—I think I cracked his skull! Oh, God . . . I didn’t aim to kill you, Stimpert”.
Magnus. Buddy. You karate-punch robot tanks into smithereens.  I’m pretty sure ol’ Stimpert is less hardy than robots, Magnus.  Our book closes with Magnus possessed by Stimpert, or presumably so.  It’s a cliffhanger, and one I’m opting not to follow up on.

I don’t often say this, but this book pretty much sucked. Archetypical phoned in script that reeked of mid-90s slapdash mega-event writing and didn’t engage the reader what-so-damn-ever. And I’m inherently a fan of Magnus Robot Fighter. The art was atrocious, like someone had half-assedly studied Rob Liefeld’s pencils and then thought, “Fuck it, let’s do this”. 
The colors were nice, though.
Honestly, the highlight of this book was the full-page promo ads appearing throughout and advertising X-O Manowar, Harbinger, and Eternal Warrior.  Though I’m sure the 1994 incarnations of those books were awful as well. That and a few back-page editorial pieces that reminded me of 1970s-80s Marvel Bullpen articles did little to salvage a comic that I’m glad I didn’t pay the cover price of $2.25.

Stick to the first wave of Valiant Comics or the newest incarnation, dear readers.
Skip the middle bit.

REVIEW: Amethyst Princess of Gemworld Vol. 1 #1

Writers: Dan Mishkin & Gary Cohn Artist: Ernie Colon Letterer: Costanza Colorist: Tom Ziuko Review: Madman

I know right! At last, the Gem Princess graces the HCB’s hallowed halls, and it’s been a long time comin’. Almost from the moment that the HCB sprang from Charlie “Night Creeper” Waffles’ loins, we’ve(everyone here at the HCB staff from Art Bee in the interwebs department, Night Creeper in our Asian office , clear down to Shirley in accounting ) been giving Will D. a good thrashing as related to his unwavering endearment to said violet hued vixen. So here I am . . . First off what in the hell is a maxi-issue? I don’t know this term and it scares me. Seriously though, is it a sexist thing . . . like girls only? No boys beyond this cover! Maybe that’s why Dubbeld got into this book, so he could kick some feminist\conformist ass? Yeah . . . let’s go with that. Who knows though? DC has some whack shit going on over there especially in 1983 . . . cause it’s all gone dead. Ok, quick run down for those not in the know. This girl, Amy Winston, has the ability to open portals to a magical other earth called Gemworld, where she is known as Amethyst. She has other powers, too, such as magical purple power blasts. This is the first issue, so she has to do the whole Jedi in the swamp thing. Of course there has to be a bad guy trying to kill her before she reaches her full potential (yawn). As far as the story goes it’s pretty basic and almost storybook when it comes to the plot. I should probably mention that in the real world Amy Winston is a 10(ish) year old, and when she goes to Gemworld she transforms into a grown up. Shazam!!! To be totally honest I literally fell asleep a little past the half way point. When I woke up, the first thing I saw was an ad for Grit. The half-page ad was headed by the slogan, “We are looking for a few good boys and girls who would like to- -Earn their own spending money -Earn neat prizes -Gain practical business experience” Yeah ok, I’m in. What the hell is Grit? A Google search later and I now know the answer to that very question. Turns out Grit was a weekly newspaper founded in 1882 by Dietrick Lamade. The Grits’ target audience was small town and rural families. According to Wiki, by 1932 it had a circulation of 425,000 in 48 states, and 83% of its circulation was in towns with a population of fewer than 10,000. To me that says The Grit was legit if the salt of the Earth would pony up a dime for the pleasure. Grit used ads like the one I saw to recruit children and teenagers to sell their paper for them. From the 1940s to the 1970s approximately 30,000 kids collected dimes from more than 700,000 small town homes. That’s a whole lot of dimes in case you were keeping track. The founders’ grandson or son, Howard J. Lamade went on to serve as a top executive with Little League Baseball, building it into the national institution that it is. The main stadium used for the Little League World Series is named Howard J. Lamade Stadium in his memory. After again consulting with my friend Google I discovered The Grit is still published in magazine form as its present day incarnation. I found their website and a few hours later I emerged a much wiser man. The current issue deals with interesting topics such as: proper chicken coop ventilation, DIY compost tumblers, trust and team building with your horse, and a mean Bacon Mac and Cheese recipe that I am totally begging my wife to make me . . . So I may not be pining for the purple vixen, but I sure as shit can process and extract honey like a boss now . . . so I got that going for me.