Charlton Comics comics have become my new guilty pleasure. At first I thought this obsession would pass like the great Alf obsession of 2012 or the great Sleepwalker folly of ’96 . . . but, nope, this is totally not going anywhere. Charlton covered a lot of territory from Billy the Kid, Gunfighter, Outlaws of the West, and other great classic G-rated westerns, to the G-rated horror books such as; the classic Haunted, Ghost Manor, and my personal favorite Ghostly Tales. I feel like I need to throw out a nod to the American muscle in Drag N' Wheels (huge fan), and the classic Blue Beetle as well. These are the books with which I’m familiar, and I’ve yet to scratch the surface of the orgy of their catalogs’ musty sexiness. Granted the ones in great condition cost a pretty penny, but I’m not concerned with condition. In fact, if it’s not dog-eared or smells like Grandma’s basement, then I don’t want it. Some things are just uncivilized. Comics are meant to be read not locked in a time capsule forever entombed in anonymity. Plus, I’m a cheap dollar box scavenger, which is exactly where I found this gem. Technically I found this book and a handful of others in a red shoe box behind a mirror under a bunch of old newspapers, during my wife’s quest for a vanity at some random antique store. Other than this book, I scored a few issues of Drag N' Wheels and DC's Scalphunter, and a single issue of the Incredible Hulk (#230 to be exact).
Scavenger.
Happiness House
Editor: George Wildman
Story: Joe Gili
Art: Larry Englehart
In our first short story, Jason Phelps is building a house for his bride-to-be . . . or I should say slaves are building a house for his bride-to-be. One night a slave escapes and heads to the local jungle voodoo priestess and has her put a curse on the evil slave master, whom just whipped our escapee. Somehow the voodoo priestess accidentally curses Phelps and his betrothed. She dies, and he's made immortal and forced to spend eternity living alone in his house. Fast forward 200 years, and the reincarnated fiance returns to break the curse. The end. So the lesson here is when picking a voodoo priestess, shop around a bit before you hoodoo the voodoo.
That Personal Touch
Editor: Geo Wildman
Writer: P. Kupperberg
Artist: Nicholas Alascia
Our second story is all about a “master” sculptor named Victor Salzburg, whose works are known for their uncanny lifelike details. As we soon learn, Victor is in fact not the ABBA of sculpting; he is in fact a man trained in Gypsy alchemy to turn people into stone. Our buddy Vic targets the riff-raff, bonks them over the head, and turns them into stone. In some unexplained way, Victor’s stone creations come alive and hit him with his own medicine. The lesson here is if you’re going to turn people to stone . . .
Satan’s Night Out
Editor: Geo Wildman
Writer: Joe Gill
Artist: Steve Ditko
Yay! Steve Ditko! And in our grand finale some wackjob goes around for a year and writes down the names of people he deems as evil. Step two of his diabolical plan is to acquire a realistic devil costume. Check. Step three is to kill all the evil people on your list dressed as the devil himself. Almost check. Before our fanatic can off the last person on his list the real devil jumps out of a poster and marries him with the business end of his trident. I mean you just can't out-devil the devil after all. The lesson here is don’t dress up as the devil and start making a naughty list.
PS. For only $1 you can enter the wonderful of amazing live Sea-Monkeys. Smells like victory.
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