REVIEW: Bite Club #1 (of 6)

Writers: Howard Chaykin & David Tischman
Artist: David Hahn
Review: Will Dubbeld

I can't pin down when exactly vampires ceased being bloodthirsty creatures to be feared and started unlife as trendy pop-culture fixtures. Certainly it wasn't with Bram Stoker's Transylvanian nobleman or Le Fanu's Carmilla. Was Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles to blame? Or was it The Lost Boys? Although they were a bit tragically hip, the gothic-punk aesthetic of it all was too counterculture for the mainstream. Marvel's Tomb of Dracula or perhaps the Vampire: The Masquerade roleplaying game?
Again, I think not.

I can't help but think the trend started with a deluge of Young Adult teen drama novels. Series like Vampire Diaries, Vampire Academy and, of course, Twilight, I think are largely responsible for the transition of vampires from folkloric terrors of the night to watered-down commonplace figures of fiction. Bite Club is either a forerunner or contemporary in the mix.

REVIEW: Locke & Key Master Edition Vol. 1

Writers:  Joe Hill and Gabriel Rodriguez
Colors:  Jay Fotos
Letters:  Robbie Robbins
Review:  Art Bee

For quite some time Lock & Key has been on my radar and seemed interesting, but I had never gotten my hands on any issues. Recently this Master Edition was acquired for an unbelievable deal: from $49.99 down to $30. How could I say no? This has been one of the best purchases I have made recently. This volume of Locke & Key is amazing! There is so much going on in this storyline that it is impossible to write about it all and not bore you all to death before you can even read it. 

Locke & Key was first published and released on February 20, 2008, by IDW. Now there has not been much that has come out of IDW that I have ever liked, but this is now my favorite from them. 

This volume covers the first two story arcs:  Welcome to Lovecraft and Head Games. The story setting is Lovecraft, Massachusetts at a mansion on the island named Keyhouse. The plot is centered on the Locke family and a set of mysterious keys which unlock some very amazing things. So far in the story only four keys have been revealed and two others are barely mentioned. The keys’ origin has not been divulged so far, but that is fine. I am sure Hill and Rodriguez will get to it before long. 

REVIEW: Iron Fist #14

Writer: Chris Claremont

Artist: John Byrne

Inker: Dan Green

Color: Janice Cohen

Review: Cody "Madman" Miller

This book is hands down the greatest dirt mall find of my meager existence.

 I was digging through the normal random piles of abandoned misfit comics that one always finds in such a place, your usual 90s X-Men, Superman “Funeral for a Friend”, and Alpha Flight, when suddenly I found the vein and struck dirt mall gold. The price tag mocked me with it’s meager $1.50. My skepticism grew instantly as I assumed it had to be a reprint, half the pages were scribbled on, or worst case, missing. I've never been so happy to be wrong in my life. Oh sure, there’s a few cosmetic issues, like a small quarter inch tear through the upc and the top corner has a small crease, but that’s about best case scenario when you’re pawing through moldy oldies in a re-purposed drive in movie theater. But seriously: yay me.

REVIEW: Full Metal Fiction #3

Creative team:
Everette Hartsoe, Rebecca O'Connor, D. Presedo, Darryl Sheakley, Hill & Gross, Pentzer and Rizzo

Review: Will Dubbeld

Did I buy this comic, hot off the Dollar Box, simply because the cover reminded me of a 1970s Grindhouse/Exploitation movie?

Maybe.

Yes . . .

Truth be told, I picked up the first issue of Full Metal Fiction some years ago thinking it was a book from Glenn Danzig's company.
Turns out I was thinking of Verotik, not London Night Studios, but I netted an anthology comic of dubious quality out of the deal.
As I'm prone to making poor decisions when it comes to comics, I came back for more when a few more issues showed up at the LCS.

REVIEW: Curse of Spawn #1 - 3

Story: Alan McElroy
Pencils: Dwayne Turner
Inks: Danny Miki
Color: Todd Broeker and Roy Young
Review: Art Bee

For over two decades, Todd McFarlane has captivated my attention with his creation, Spawn. This story has been reincarnated in many facets and genres, similar to Romeo and Juliet, and in this case, Curse of Spawn. We are dropped into a post-apocalyptic world in which the Battle of Armageddon is about to be fought. This comic made me feel as if it were a blend of traditional Spawn and Terminator 2: Judgment Day.

Todd McFarlane did not have a direct influence on the creation of this story, but he was in the background. The credits page lists him and Image as presenting this story to us so, whatever that means, he did. Regardless of his input into Curse of Spawn, it is worth him putting his name on it. Think about that kind of creative power: is this story worthy of my name to be emblazoned on it? Yes. (Cue the sound of heavy metal clanking accompanied followed by a sizzling etching sound)

REVIEW: Ghostly Tales #134

Charlton Comics comics have become my new guilty pleasure. At first I thought this obsession would pass like the great Alf obsession of 2012 or the great Sleepwalker folly of ’96 . . . but, nope, this is totally not going anywhere. Charlton covered a lot of territory from Billy the Kid, Gunfighter, Outlaws of the West, and other great classic G-rated westerns, to the G-rated horror books such as; the classic Haunted, Ghost Manor, and my personal favorite Ghostly Tales. I feel like I need to throw out a nod to the American muscle in Drag N' Wheels (huge fan), and the classic Blue Beetle as well. These are the books with which I’m familiar, and I’ve yet to scratch the surface of the orgy of their catalogs’ musty sexiness. Granted the ones in great condition cost a pretty penny, but I’m not concerned with condition. In fact, if it’s not dog-eared or smells like Grandma’s basement, then I don’t want it. Some things are just uncivilized. Comics are meant to be read not locked in a time capsule forever entombed in anonymity. Plus, I’m a cheap dollar box scavenger, which is exactly where I found this gem. Technically I found this book and a handful of others in a red shoe box behind a mirror under a bunch of old newspapers, during my wife’s quest for a vanity at some random antique store. Other than this book, I scored a few issues of Drag N' Wheels and DC's Scalphunter, and a single issue of the Incredible Hulk (#230 to be exact).

Scavenger.

Happiness House

Editor: George Wildman

Story: Joe Gili

Art: Larry Englehart

In our first short story, Jason Phelps is building a house for his bride-to-be . . . or I should say slaves are building a house for his bride-to-be. One night a slave escapes and heads to the local jungle voodoo priestess and has her put a curse on the evil slave master, whom just whipped our escapee. Somehow the voodoo priestess accidentally curses Phelps and his betrothed. She dies, and he's made immortal and forced to spend eternity living alone in his house. Fast forward 200 years, and the reincarnated fiance returns to break the curse. The end. So the lesson here is when picking a voodoo priestess, shop around a bit before you hoodoo the voodoo.

That Personal Touch

Editor: Geo Wildman

Writer: P. Kupperberg

Artist: Nicholas Alascia

Our second story is all about a “master” sculptor named Victor Salzburg, whose works are known for their uncanny lifelike details. As we soon learn, Victor is in fact not the ABBA of sculpting; he is in fact a man trained in Gypsy alchemy to turn people into stone. Our buddy Vic targets the riff-raff, bonks them over the head, and turns them into stone. In some unexplained way, Victor’s stone creations come alive and hit him with his own medicine. The lesson here is if you’re going to turn people to stone . . .

Satan’s Night Out

Editor: Geo Wildman

Writer: Joe Gill

Artist: Steve Ditko

Yay! Steve Ditko! And in our grand finale some wackjob goes around for a year and writes down the names of people he deems as evil. Step two of his diabolical plan is to acquire a realistic devil costume. Check. Step three is to kill all the evil people on your list dressed as the devil himself. Almost check. Before our fanatic can off the last person on his list the real devil jumps out of a poster and marries him with the business end of his trident. I mean you just can't out-devil the devil after all. The lesson here is don’t dress up as the devil and start making a naughty list.

PS. For only $1 you can enter the wonderful of amazing live Sea-Monkeys. Smells like victory.

REVIEW: Kobra #1

Writer: Martin Pasko
Artists: Jack Kirby, D. Bruce Berry, Pablo Marcos

Free Comic Book Day not only gives us the gift of aforementioned free comics, but also usually showers us with other gifts.
Gifts in the form of sale priced or clearanced loot. Most shops run a table or two (or three!) of highly discounted merchandise they can't move or are otherwise tired of looking at. Almost always these tables hold that Promised Land of a Dollar Box or Quarter Bin, and any store that doesn't needs to pick up their game.
You know who you are . . .

This year I picked up enough moldy oldies and mid-'90s stock to fill this column for about a year, and today we'll take a look at the finest comic that 1976 DC had to offer:  Kobra.
I've always had a fondness for snake-themed villains, probably due to my early exposure to James Earl Jones' Thulsa Doom, and Kobra is no exception. Though sporadic at best, I always treasured those rare DC comics I'd find that had some calling for a Ruthless Terrorist Organization to menace the world, and if Ra's al-Ghul was busy that week I could always count on Kobra.


Kobra is a great book, brimming with vintage purple prose and phenomenal interiors by Jack "Hail to the King" Kirby. The book opens with the snake cult's hidden temple under Manhattan, and among the trophies and relics within, we are treated with the appearance of a miniatures mastodon from Atlantis preserved in suspended animation. I only make mention of this because somebody was awful damn proud of that woolly mammoth as it was pointedly expounded upon, almost verbatim from my sentence above.
Old school comics, everyone?

Exposition tells us that Kobra is one of a set of Siamese twins, separated at birth and secreted away by a sinister serpent cult to reign as their Evil Prophesied Dalai Lama. His brother, Jason, is in the dark about his brothers' actions or even his existence but is soon clued in by a streetwise NYPD lieutenant. The police want to use Jason as bait in the hopes of luring Kobra out of his Bond Villain lair, but Kobra has other plans.
Plans that involve sending a giant alien robot rampaging through the streets of New York on the hunt for his brother.

As it turns out, Kobra and Jason share a specific cliché trait as some fictional twins are wont to do. As the Corsican Brothers before them and GI Joe's Crimson Twins to follow, Kobra and Jason feel one another's pain.
Not in an empathetic metaphorical sort of way. In a way, where if I smack Jason in the head, Kobra looks up and goes, "Ow! Dammit, who did that?!!!"
You all know what I'm talkin' about.
This puts a damper on Kobra's plan to send his rampaging alien robot across town to kill his brother.

When all is said and done, Jason Lives and Kobra shakes his fist and escapes to bedevil our heroes another day. As to be expected, considering he is the titular character.

If I were a betting man, I'd say a majority of folks aren't scrabbling for copies of 1976's Kobra. I might go so far as to say a lot of readers might not even know who the hell Kobra is, but if the opportunity presents itself, I'd recommend finding out. The Jack Kirby art alone is worth the price of admission.