REVIEW: X-Force #2

Writers: Fabian Nicieza and Rob Liefeld
Penciler: Rob Liefeld
Inker: Rob Liefeld
Colorist: Brad Vancata
Cover: Rob Liefeld
Review: Madman

I’m not an X-Force fan. I have at maximum no more then two issues of anything X-Force related. I just don’t care. I knew when I bought this issue there would be a 99% chance I would hate this comic; there’s just that much meh oozing from out.

If you couldn’t spy his handiwork from a mile away or you didn’t see his name a half-million times in the credits, Rob Liefeld is all over this thing, and it reeks of 90’s glam rockers with disproportionate biceps and no feet. I can’t stand this guys work…zero, none, I’d rather eat 100 of his panels then read a comic this guy drew during the 90’s. AND…it gets much, much worse when it comes to the eye candy as Brad Vancata’s colors make Liefeld’s crap pencils much, much worse. At points the colors become almost blinding neon. No one wants blinding neon comics…except maybe Evil Ernie fans but they’re definitely not right in the head. I bet after Liefeld handed Vancata the pages, he looked at them and probably realized he couldn’t actually make them look any worse, spent 15 minutes on them with his Bedazzler set on rabbit rabbit, and handed that shit right back. I’m not kidding. I’d almost rather look at Death Moth than this issue again.

REVIEW: Avengers #315

Writer: John Byrne
Artists: Paul Ryan & Tom Palmer
Review: Will Dubbeld

Dropping somewhere in between "Acts of Vengeance" and "Operation: Galactic Storm" fell Avengers #315. I'm moderately and admittedly sparse on stretches of Avengers lore, and this issue is no exception. We can rap about the "Pacific Overlords" arc of West Coast Avengers all day long, or the oft-maligned (but one of my personal favorites) leather jacket era, but not so much the early '90s stories.

Which may be a bit of a blessing...

Let's go ahead and, in this instance I think it's okay, judge a book by its cover.

Pros:

1)Guest starring the Amazing Spider-Man! Nice, a good Spidey guest spot never hurts.

2)Captain America, Thor, and Sersi. Cap's one of my favorites, I've always gotten a kick out of Thor, and Sersi is a crazy-powerful, underrated Avenger. So far, so good.

Cons:

1)Hoo boy. Per the cover, "The enemy revealed--while a universe trembles!"
And by revealed, we mean That Gratuitous Ass Shot. Seriously. I love some cheesecake but I'm not entirely sure an Avengers cover is the right venue.

2)Pirate Jarvis?        

REVIEW: Green Arrow #16 (vol 3)

Writer: Brad Meltzer
Pencils: Phil Hester
Inker: Ande Parks
Colorist: James Sinclair
Letterer: Sean Konot
Review: Art Bee

As I have said before DC has never really been my cup of tea (the exception would be the villains of Batman, for they have always been just the best villains of all time). Earlier this year I started watching Arrow on Netflix and have recently gotten caught up with the series, which I find phenomenal. So for this weeks’ Dollar Box pull I thumbed through the back issue box of Green Arrow at my LCS for one to review and came up with Green Arrow #16.

The cover of the comic was not spectacular looking, but the headstone featured has a very intriguing epitaph: “Oliver Queen – Always Made the Right Enemies”.  Having not read a single
Green Arrow issue in my life, this cover told me a lot about the book right away. Apparently Oliver Queen either died or had something happen leading everyone to believe he was dead.

REVIEW: Peter Parker, The Spectacular Spider-Man # 28

Writer: Bill Marauder
Artists: Frank Miller and Frank Springer
Colorist: Mario Sen
Review: Madman

Long story short: my wife took my master ‘I-Need-These-Books’ list and invaded the geek sanctuary of my LCS, Comics Cubed, during a recent 75% off on all back issues sale. She ended up picking up 20 issues of this glorious title, and I was super excited to find this issue in the pile. The list of reasons I’ve always wanted issues #25-31 is basically limitless, but I digress . . .

The first reason is Bill Mantlo wrote it. You may recognize Mantlo from any of his many works, but for me Mantlo will always represent good things. I suppose that some people would argue that his biggest contribution would be his work on Micronauts or possibly Rom . . . but me, no sir. Mantlo’s run on Spectacular is his work for which I am most grateful, because he birthed one of my all time favorite villains in issue #25, Carrion. I love this guy but apparently the powers that be did not as they killed him off in issue #31. Good thing no one stays dead in the comics, as I first remember Carrion from the Maximum Carnage run of the 90s. I actually remember being scared of Carrion while I was reading that arc. I mean he’s a mummy-looking failed clone of Miles Warren who can turn organic matter into dust just by touching it. That’s not all he can do. He can also squash you into jelly with his super-human strength, turn almost intangible, levitate, use telepathy and telekinesis . . . just incase turning you to dust wasn’t enough. I’ve always been a fan of Carrion beyond the taint of Maximum Carnage.  

REVIEW: The Transformers: All Hail Megatron #1

Written by: Shane McCarthy
Art by: Guido Guidi
Colors by: Josh Burcham
Letters by: Neil Uyetake & Chris Mowry
Edits by: Denton J. Tipton
Review: Will Dubbeld

Truth be told, Transformers comics (or one comic in particular) were an important factor in my formative nerd years. One of the first comics in my collection was an early issue of the Marvel Transformers series featuring Spider-Man.
Already having a grasp of Spider-Man and already a fan of Transformers, because what '80s kid wasn't, this book was an eye opener. Cross-property teamups, worldbuilding, and continuity first dawned on me as I turned the pages.

I wasn't a rabid follower of Transformers comics in the years following but did keep myself abreast of their goings-on. I've picked up a few issues here and there, but there's enough content in recent years to believe IDW is competing with Marvel's X-Men for the sheer amount of ongoings, minis, spinoffs, and one-shots for a franchise. There's simply too much content for me to handle.
BUT I received the first ten issues of All Hail Megatron for free, so here we are.

The book opens with a brief, 1-page synopsis of the previous story and then almost immediately we're thrown into the carnage of a Decepticon attack.
Beautiful.

REVIEW: Kull #9

Scripter: Alan Zelenetz
Penciler: John Buscema
Inker: Mel Candido
Letterer: John Morelli
Colorist: Marie Severin
Review: Art Bee

While trudging through the dense boxes filled with the floppies of yesteryear, I comest upon a
sight unseen by mine eyes afore. Are you tired of this already? I certainly am. Though I have
never read a Kull comic before, it will more than likely never happen again. This was not one of
Marvel’s greatest accomplishments. Although I do miss buying comic books for change as in my
childhood at the local 7-Eleven, this comic was still over priced at $0.65 even for 1985.

This comic book is about a block-head of a warrior-king named Kull. In Kull #9, a lovely young
noble lady named Daphne finds a worthy challenge for Kull to fight. He offers her a choice of
jewels from the treasury, but she turns them down and practically draws a picture in crayon about
her love for him. Silly Kull completely ignores her and spits some ridiculous crap about clouded
minds to his minstrel, Ridondo . . . truly and absurd name. This minstrel has an absurd name, but
throughout the comic book I was rooting for Ridondo to knife Kull in the back and take the
throne for himself.  

REVIEW: Detective Comics #603

Writer: Alan Grant
Artist: Norm Breyfogle
Review: Will Dubbeld

Bill Finger, Frank Miller, Denny O'Neil, and scads upon scads of other talented creators have lent their skill to the Dark Knight, but none so expertly as Messrs Grant and Breyfogle.
Folks will rave about the more popular lineups, Morrison and Quietly, Snyder and Capullo, Miller and Lee . . .
Though that last one perhaps more for notoriety than popularity and as an aside I was horrendously unimpressed with Scott Snyder's writing.

Breyfogle and Grant, however, nailed it. From the Mud Pack to Tim Drake these two bled gray and blue. Batman felt like a Caped Crusader, a Dark Knight.
A Detective, for Chrissake.

'Tec 603 is unfortunately the last issue of a three-parter, and I haven't got the other 2 books in my collection. The opening scene depicts a Hindu demon-god attacking a police car with an immense axe, however, so that'll definitely grab your attention.
Demon-on-cop is only the tip of the iceberg, Bat-fans. Have you ever seen Batman fight a Vedic spirit monster?  

REVIEW: Black Condor issue #1 & 2

Writer: Brian Augustyn
Artist: Rags Morales
Colors: Eric Kachelhofer
Review: Madman

A few years back I came across some issues of Black Condor in a lowly, yellowed long box at this local large consignment-type dirt mall I frequent from time to time (same place I found Iron Fist #11 for less then two bucks). I snatched them up for the simple fact that I’d never heard of the Black Condor, as I don’t frequent the DCU much, and I dig characters that dress as birds and fly around. Not sure why, really, I just do. Adrian Toomes…big fan. Sam Wilson…big fan (The movie version is fantastic. Good on you Anthony Mackie). Hawkman (one of the few DC characters I follow) and Archangel (meh on Angel) . . . I’m on board.

Sooooo yeah, Black Condor, why not? I never actually read said rescued Black Condor books, I just bagged them and threw them in the box with my meager DC comic collection, promptly forgetting about them until recently when I stumbled across issues 1 & 2 in a 50¢ box at the local funny book convention. Was it fate?

REVIEW: Flash #84

Story: Mark Waid
Pencils: Barry Kitson, Ian Akin, Jose Marzan, Jr., and Ken Branch
Colorist: Gina Going
Review: Art Bee

During my school days (yes, I am showing my age here) there was a neat sensation called “Pogs”. This was not only a hobby but a game as well. You collected Pogs with various themes and characters on them, and then to play, you and someone else would stack Pogs in a single stack and use a “Slammer” to slam the stack. Any Pogs that land on the ground face up are yours to keep.

When I opened the pages of Flash #84, a scene featuring Wally West and a couple of kids playing greeted me and sent me back to my school days playing this game. The good ol’ days . . .

I’m back.

Believe it or not, this is the first Flash comic book I have read. Honestly I have had a hard time in my life getting onboard with a hero whose power is to run away. In spite of that, this comic was very enjoyable. The artwork was crisp, clean, and consistent despite having four artists working on it. It was not obvious there were this many working on it by reading the book. Today, how much variation is there when several artists collaborate on an issue? The recent ones I have seen are drastically different in style. The only reason I can think of for this is standards. Marvel and DC used to have standards for their comics and characters. Today, not so much. Marvel and DC treat their intellectual properties as whores and pimp them out to anyone to work with.

REVIEW: The Crew #1

Writer: Christopher Priest 
Artist: Joe Bennett
Review: Will Dubbeld

LUUUUUUKE CAAAAAAGE!
. . . does not appear in this book.
On a sugar-high caused by the hype surrounding Netflix's Luke Cage series, I dug out some Dollar Box issues of Christopher Priest's The Crew thinking Mr. Cage appeared within.

 I was mistaken.

 The Crew features James 'War Machine' Rhodes in the spotlight, not 1/2 of Heroes for Hire. I expected Cage to show up with every page turn, but closed the book disappointed and had to consult the Internet before learning he didn't appear in the series whatsoever. 

 I was not, however, disappointed with what I did find in The Crew.

 The framework of Christopher Priest's first issue deals with the murder of Rhodey's sister and his investigation into the circumstances and individuals involved. At the book's opening, we find the former Iron Man bankrupt and hocking watches and old Starktech before hightailing to New York City to identify his sister's body.

REVIEW: What if ...? #12 vol 2

Writer and Pencils: Jim Valentino
Inks: Sam de la Rosa
Colors: Tom Vincent
Letters: Phil Felix
Review: Madman

I don’t know who keeps putting these damn What If books in the dollar box, but they sure do have a lot of my dollars. This issue asks the question WHAT IF...!?!?!?! the X-Men had stayed in Asgard? It’s a valid question I suppose, but I wasn’t really aware the X-Men had even gone to Asgard in the first place. In all honesty I’ve never really been into Thor, Asgard, or the X-Men for that matter. In all honester honesty I've dabbled with the X-Men from time to time. A nifty foil cover here and there will sucker me in with the rest of you and if Gambit, Nightcrawler, or Wolverine are featured I just might buy multiple copies. Thor books never make it to the register. It’s a language thing. That Old English lingo just kills it for me, every time I read a “thee” or “ hath” it’s like nails on a chalkboard. If I was forced to choose between reading a stack of Thor comics or Before Watchmen, I’d choose Before, even the Silk Specter books, that’s the extent of it. In fact up until the MCU came to be my favorite incarnation and the full extent was the mechanic guy from Adventures in Babysitting. That being said none of my prejudices mattered because:

REVIEW: 1st Issue Special #5

Edited, written and drawn by Jack Kirby
Inked and lettered by D. Bruce Berry


Review by Will Dubbeld

Ah, 1970s DC comics . . .
That particular decade and the one following hold many of my favorite tales from the halls of Distinguished Competition. Not cut from the same cloth as the downright bizarre and ofttimes asinine 1950s-60 DC books, the '70s and '80s walked that line between rock solid storytelling and sublimely weird. Spinning off of an avalanche of counterculture and societal change, books like Brother Power and Swamp Thing reflected a sort of changing of the guard between the Gold and Silver Age and that which was to come. 1st Issue Special, in my mind, was an important (though hardly pivotal) part of that movement.

As near as I can tell, 1st Issue Special was fundamentally a 'tryout' anthology book. 1 issue dedicated to a particular character or story, throw it against the wall, see if it sticks. It spawned some hits (Warlord) and quite a few misses (Dingbats of Danger Street, Lady Cop . . . ), and Manhunter from 1st Issue Special #5 seems to fall somewhere in the middle.

Plot/Pencils: Steve Ditko
Script: Roger Stern
Inks: Bruce Patterson
Colors: Tom Vincent
Review: Madman

Even if I wasn’t a fan of Speedball, I’d have bought this book just for the cover. We’ve got a cannonball smashing through a brick wall, an anthropomorphic mouse blasting away with semi-auto gun of some sort, a mysterious silhouette of a man about to toss a rope, an alley cat, and Speedball caught in the middle. This action-packed covers’ built-in tagline sells the issue and asks the question, “Will even Speedball, the Masked Marvel, be able to . . . beat the Basher . . . follow the Freak of Science . . . and trap the Two Legged Rat?!”

Well, then . . . suddenly I must know the outcome and fate of my beloved kinetic ball speedster.

In the first little short titled, “Beware the Basher”, our beloved Speedball finds himself struggling to control his Speedball powers while trying to apprehend a thug called the Basher that’s been picking off police officers. There is absolutely nothing extraordinary about Basher. It’s later revealed that Basher is a Police Academy dropout working as a bus boy and just really hates cops. The Basher's weapon of choice is some sort of cannonball thing that he shot-puts at unsuspecting police. Someone had rent due and was cranking out pages . . . lame. Speedball actually does little more than slow Basher down, but the police take Basher down.  

REVIEW: The Darkness #13

Story: Malachy Coney and Garth Ennis
Pencils:  Joe Benitez
Inks:  Joe Weems V
Colors:  Haberlin Studios, Richard Isanove, and Matt Nelson
Review:  Art Bee

During the 90s there were a lot of comics following me home, but there were only two that had won my heart over: Spawn and The Darkness. These stories featured a pair of the greatest antiheroes I have ever encountered. Over the last three years at HCB, I have avoided reviewing any of The Darkness (the review of the one shot about a year and a half ago doesn’t count), because it is a very special to me. This particular issue was the one that cemented me as a fan.

Thus far in this series, Jackie Estacado discovered he was the vessel for the Darkness, an ancient power passed down from father to first-conceived son. The Darkness is an entity overpowered with god-like abilities and can generate armies of creatures to fight, create slaves, grow tough armor and weapons, and many other incredible things with the only limit being Jackie’s imagination. The weakness is bright light. All of the Darkness’ power is completely negated by direct bright light. In addition to being this super-powered dark freak, Estacado is a mafia hit man for his uncle, Mr. Franchetti. As if it is not enough to be able to have over a hundred different ways to assassinate someone, he gets super powers.  

REVIEW: MICRA (Mind Controlled Remote Automaton) #3

Story: Lamar Waldron
Art: Ted Boonthanakit
Review: Will Dubbeld

Full disclosure: I bought this book at a flea market for twenty-five cents American based solely on the Dave Stevens ad art on the back cover . . .
In fact it was an obscure indie comic helped steer my decision, in part because I'm always looking to expand my base of comic knowhow, but also because I've a huge soft spot for these oddball books.

MICRA dropped in 1987, during a boom of indie publishers that were producing some great little books. The backdrop of the series takes place in a dystopian future and essentially is a story of the haves and have-nots. The fortunate live inside utopian some cities while the less so live in the nuclear wasteland outside. The main protagonist is a young quadriplegic lady named Angela, who is given the chance to experience life fully through a MICRA, an android body controlled autonomously through a computer while the user is in an induced trance.

REVIEW: Trekker #4

Created, written and illustrated by Ron Randall
Review: Will Dubbeld

Every Wednesday brings new comics to the shop and an old comic to the HCB's Dollar Box. This week's pick happens to be 1987's Trekker no.4.
I've a long history with Trekker and the books' contemporaries at Dark Horse, first discovering the comic during my introduction to the medium.
Trekker is the story of Mercy St. Clair, a young lady in a future not quite dystopian, just a bit unsettled. Mercy is a bounty hunter, or 'Trekker' per the parlance of the book, and the series largely focuses on stories that balance her professional and personal lives.
There are some larger overarching themes in Trekker, but the bits where the book shines deal with the interpersonal relationships with her uncle Alex and her boyfriend Paul, both police officers, and her roommate Molly.

Writer:  John Byrne
Penciler: Ron Wilson
Colorist: Bob Sharen
Review: Cody Miller

I'm a huge sucker for some Thing. If I spy an issue of The Thing or Marvel Two-in-One anywhere near the $1 mark, I snatch them up indiscriminately by the handful. I mean, who doesn’t like the big orange softy . . . Bueller . . . Bueller . . . anyone? That's right, everyone loves Mr. Ben Grimm.

This cover is pretty spectacular. We get the Thing hanging from chain as Black Bolt and his Inhumans are walking in the door in the background. Are the Inhumans here to save the day or is it clobbering time? The anticipation is killing me.

We don't have to wait long as we’re graced with the presence of Crystal, the element-manipulating Inhuman princess, and her teleporting canine companion, Lockjaw. Lockjaw! High five. The beginning of this story begins in General Hospital in NYC. No clue as to why the trenchcoat-clad orange boulder is in the gift shop buying flowers, but that’s where Crystal and Lockjaw find him. Crystal launches into a tale of woe and begs Mr. Grimm to help her protect her baby . . . apparently the baby’s father has issues.

REVIEW: Beowulf #1

Chronicled by Michael Uslan
Artistry by Ricardo Villamonte
Review by Will Dubbeld

Oh, 1970s DC Comics, you're the best. Gone were the sci-fi 50s and best left unremembered were the zany, goofball antics of the 60s. The 1970s ushered in a metaphorical Golden Age of superhero books, horror comics, and a healthy dose of fantasy.
Also Lady Cop.

Amongst these fantasy comics was a short-lived Beowulf comic that was hardly a direct adaptation of the epic poem. Moreso I believe it was an outlet for DC Comics to showcase a sweet barbarian warrior and, since Marvel held the Conan rights, they looked to the Public Domain and came up with Beowulf.
Apparently Gilgamesh didn't make the cut.

This book is a treat, cover to cover. Case in point, the inside cover features an ad pitting the Dynamic Duo of Batman and Robin against a 2000 year-old mummy, narrowly defeating him with the power of Hostess Twinkies.
I could've closed the book there and been satisfied, but swords and sorcery awaited!

REVIEW: What If? #19: What if Spider-Man Had Never Become A Crime fighter?

Writer: Peter Gillis
Artist: Pat Broderick
Inker: Mike Esposito
Review: Cody "Madman" Miller

I absolutely can’t help myself. If I come within 100 yards of an issue of What If?, I can sense a disturbance in The Force, and a few moments later I'm makin' it rain Washingtons all up in the Dollar Boxes' business. If I find some Spider-Man What Ifs that’s when I bust out the trench coat and the Matrix moves . . . Practically a reflex.

You have to admit this issue’s question is relevant, interesting, and, if you really think about the answer, a multifaceted minefield of potential. Now, I’m not kidding myself in regards to how this book will end. Let’s be honest: these fantastic bastard one-offs usually have pretty lame, corny, predictable endings, but not always.

The issue starts with the Watcher narrating the familiar origin of our favorite neighborhood wall-crawler from the fateful spider bite to the point Peter lets his Uncle Ben's killer get away. The Watcher opens a window to a different reality and instead of letting the thug go Peter stops him, not out of heroism but for publicity. Jerk.

REVIEW: Ka-Zar #1 - 2

Storytellers: Mark Waid and Andy Kubert
Inker: Jesse Delperdang
Colorist: Joe Rosas
Letterer: Todd Klein
Review: Art Bee

For a very long time Marvel was the best from my point of view. Over the last year I have made my more recent opinions very clear of how they and DC conduct business. What a wonderful feeling to read something from an era when Marvel actually liked their readers and respected them.
While at my LCBS and resting my armpits from my crutches, the “K” back issue box compelled me to thumb through it and that is how I came to own and read Ka-Zar #1 and #2.

Other than what I have gathered from X-men comics, Ka-Zar was a great mystery. It was nice to open a Marvel first issue and not be bombarded with origin story information. When these were released in 1997, Marvel was subtle about providing background information, which made it seem more of a reminder than a re-education. Also this approach adds value to the story rather than delay it.

REVIEW: Savage Dragon #3 (of 3)

Creator, writer, artist, inker: Erik Larsen
Letterer: Chris Eliopoulos
Colorist: Gregory Wright
Review: Will Dubbeld

Hot damn, first wave Image, you are out of control!
In an occasional fit of brevity, I'll presume everyone is familiar with the Image coup of the 1990s and not go on at length. The long & short of it pretty much entails a good majority of hot Marvel art talent leaving The House of Ideas and forming their own company free from the shackles of work-for-hire contracts.
Kudos for them, I'm all for creators rights!
On the downside, a majority of these gentlemen were artists and not writers.
Not by a long chalk.
I give you Savage Dragon no. 3 as an exhibition . . .

I would've been about 12 years old when Image exploded onto the comics scene, and explode it did. My adolescent fandom bade me buy as many of these hot new titles as possible, and buy I did.
Spawn, Youngblood, Brigade, The Maxx, et cetera, ad nauseum.
Purchases certainly included Erik Larsen's Savage Dragon.

REVIEW: Bite Club #1 (of 6)

Writers: Howard Chaykin & David Tischman
Artist: David Hahn
Review: Will Dubbeld

I can't pin down when exactly vampires ceased being bloodthirsty creatures to be feared and started unlife as trendy pop-culture fixtures. Certainly it wasn't with Bram Stoker's Transylvanian nobleman or Le Fanu's Carmilla. Was Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles to blame? Or was it The Lost Boys? Although they were a bit tragically hip, the gothic-punk aesthetic of it all was too counterculture for the mainstream. Marvel's Tomb of Dracula or perhaps the Vampire: The Masquerade roleplaying game?
Again, I think not.

I can't help but think the trend started with a deluge of Young Adult teen drama novels. Series like Vampire Diaries, Vampire Academy and, of course, Twilight, I think are largely responsible for the transition of vampires from folkloric terrors of the night to watered-down commonplace figures of fiction. Bite Club is either a forerunner or contemporary in the mix.

REVIEW: Locke & Key Master Edition Vol. 1

Writers:  Joe Hill and Gabriel Rodriguez
Colors:  Jay Fotos
Letters:  Robbie Robbins
Review:  Art Bee

For quite some time Lock & Key has been on my radar and seemed interesting, but I had never gotten my hands on any issues. Recently this Master Edition was acquired for an unbelievable deal: from $49.99 down to $30. How could I say no? This has been one of the best purchases I have made recently. This volume of Locke & Key is amazing! There is so much going on in this storyline that it is impossible to write about it all and not bore you all to death before you can even read it. 

Locke & Key was first published and released on February 20, 2008, by IDW. Now there has not been much that has come out of IDW that I have ever liked, but this is now my favorite from them. 

This volume covers the first two story arcs:  Welcome to Lovecraft and Head Games. The story setting is Lovecraft, Massachusetts at a mansion on the island named Keyhouse. The plot is centered on the Locke family and a set of mysterious keys which unlock some very amazing things. So far in the story only four keys have been revealed and two others are barely mentioned. The keys’ origin has not been divulged so far, but that is fine. I am sure Hill and Rodriguez will get to it before long. 

REVIEW: Iron Fist #14

Writer: Chris Claremont

Artist: John Byrne

Inker: Dan Green

Color: Janice Cohen

Review: Cody "Madman" Miller

This book is hands down the greatest dirt mall find of my meager existence.

 I was digging through the normal random piles of abandoned misfit comics that one always finds in such a place, your usual 90s X-Men, Superman “Funeral for a Friend”, and Alpha Flight, when suddenly I found the vein and struck dirt mall gold. The price tag mocked me with it’s meager $1.50. My skepticism grew instantly as I assumed it had to be a reprint, half the pages were scribbled on, or worst case, missing. I've never been so happy to be wrong in my life. Oh sure, there’s a few cosmetic issues, like a small quarter inch tear through the upc and the top corner has a small crease, but that’s about best case scenario when you’re pawing through moldy oldies in a re-purposed drive in movie theater. But seriously: yay me.

REVIEW: Full Metal Fiction #3

Creative team:
Everette Hartsoe, Rebecca O'Connor, D. Presedo, Darryl Sheakley, Hill & Gross, Pentzer and Rizzo

Review: Will Dubbeld

Did I buy this comic, hot off the Dollar Box, simply because the cover reminded me of a 1970s Grindhouse/Exploitation movie?

Maybe.

Yes . . .

Truth be told, I picked up the first issue of Full Metal Fiction some years ago thinking it was a book from Glenn Danzig's company.
Turns out I was thinking of Verotik, not London Night Studios, but I netted an anthology comic of dubious quality out of the deal.
As I'm prone to making poor decisions when it comes to comics, I came back for more when a few more issues showed up at the LCS.

REVIEW: Curse of Spawn #1 - 3

Story: Alan McElroy
Pencils: Dwayne Turner
Inks: Danny Miki
Color: Todd Broeker and Roy Young
Review: Art Bee

For over two decades, Todd McFarlane has captivated my attention with his creation, Spawn. This story has been reincarnated in many facets and genres, similar to Romeo and Juliet, and in this case, Curse of Spawn. We are dropped into a post-apocalyptic world in which the Battle of Armageddon is about to be fought. This comic made me feel as if it were a blend of traditional Spawn and Terminator 2: Judgment Day.

Todd McFarlane did not have a direct influence on the creation of this story, but he was in the background. The credits page lists him and Image as presenting this story to us so, whatever that means, he did. Regardless of his input into Curse of Spawn, it is worth him putting his name on it. Think about that kind of creative power: is this story worthy of my name to be emblazoned on it? Yes. (Cue the sound of heavy metal clanking accompanied followed by a sizzling etching sound)

REVIEW: Ghostly Tales #134

Charlton Comics comics have become my new guilty pleasure. At first I thought this obsession would pass like the great Alf obsession of 2012 or the great Sleepwalker folly of ’96 . . . but, nope, this is totally not going anywhere. Charlton covered a lot of territory from Billy the Kid, Gunfighter, Outlaws of the West, and other great classic G-rated westerns, to the G-rated horror books such as; the classic Haunted, Ghost Manor, and my personal favorite Ghostly Tales. I feel like I need to throw out a nod to the American muscle in Drag N' Wheels (huge fan), and the classic Blue Beetle as well. These are the books with which I’m familiar, and I’ve yet to scratch the surface of the orgy of their catalogs’ musty sexiness. Granted the ones in great condition cost a pretty penny, but I’m not concerned with condition. In fact, if it’s not dog-eared or smells like Grandma’s basement, then I don’t want it. Some things are just uncivilized. Comics are meant to be read not locked in a time capsule forever entombed in anonymity. Plus, I’m a cheap dollar box scavenger, which is exactly where I found this gem. Technically I found this book and a handful of others in a red shoe box behind a mirror under a bunch of old newspapers, during my wife’s quest for a vanity at some random antique store. Other than this book, I scored a few issues of Drag N' Wheels and DC's Scalphunter, and a single issue of the Incredible Hulk (#230 to be exact).

Scavenger.

Happiness House

Editor: George Wildman

Story: Joe Gili

Art: Larry Englehart

In our first short story, Jason Phelps is building a house for his bride-to-be . . . or I should say slaves are building a house for his bride-to-be. One night a slave escapes and heads to the local jungle voodoo priestess and has her put a curse on the evil slave master, whom just whipped our escapee. Somehow the voodoo priestess accidentally curses Phelps and his betrothed. She dies, and he's made immortal and forced to spend eternity living alone in his house. Fast forward 200 years, and the reincarnated fiance returns to break the curse. The end. So the lesson here is when picking a voodoo priestess, shop around a bit before you hoodoo the voodoo.

That Personal Touch

Editor: Geo Wildman

Writer: P. Kupperberg

Artist: Nicholas Alascia

Our second story is all about a “master” sculptor named Victor Salzburg, whose works are known for their uncanny lifelike details. As we soon learn, Victor is in fact not the ABBA of sculpting; he is in fact a man trained in Gypsy alchemy to turn people into stone. Our buddy Vic targets the riff-raff, bonks them over the head, and turns them into stone. In some unexplained way, Victor’s stone creations come alive and hit him with his own medicine. The lesson here is if you’re going to turn people to stone . . .

Satan’s Night Out

Editor: Geo Wildman

Writer: Joe Gill

Artist: Steve Ditko

Yay! Steve Ditko! And in our grand finale some wackjob goes around for a year and writes down the names of people he deems as evil. Step two of his diabolical plan is to acquire a realistic devil costume. Check. Step three is to kill all the evil people on your list dressed as the devil himself. Almost check. Before our fanatic can off the last person on his list the real devil jumps out of a poster and marries him with the business end of his trident. I mean you just can't out-devil the devil after all. The lesson here is don’t dress up as the devil and start making a naughty list.

PS. For only $1 you can enter the wonderful of amazing live Sea-Monkeys. Smells like victory.

REVIEW: Kobra #1

Writer: Martin Pasko
Artists: Jack Kirby, D. Bruce Berry, Pablo Marcos

Free Comic Book Day not only gives us the gift of aforementioned free comics, but also usually showers us with other gifts.
Gifts in the form of sale priced or clearanced loot. Most shops run a table or two (or three!) of highly discounted merchandise they can't move or are otherwise tired of looking at. Almost always these tables hold that Promised Land of a Dollar Box or Quarter Bin, and any store that doesn't needs to pick up their game.
You know who you are . . .

This year I picked up enough moldy oldies and mid-'90s stock to fill this column for about a year, and today we'll take a look at the finest comic that 1976 DC had to offer:  Kobra.
I've always had a fondness for snake-themed villains, probably due to my early exposure to James Earl Jones' Thulsa Doom, and Kobra is no exception. Though sporadic at best, I always treasured those rare DC comics I'd find that had some calling for a Ruthless Terrorist Organization to menace the world, and if Ra's al-Ghul was busy that week I could always count on Kobra.


Kobra is a great book, brimming with vintage purple prose and phenomenal interiors by Jack "Hail to the King" Kirby. The book opens with the snake cult's hidden temple under Manhattan, and among the trophies and relics within, we are treated with the appearance of a miniatures mastodon from Atlantis preserved in suspended animation. I only make mention of this because somebody was awful damn proud of that woolly mammoth as it was pointedly expounded upon, almost verbatim from my sentence above.
Old school comics, everyone?

Exposition tells us that Kobra is one of a set of Siamese twins, separated at birth and secreted away by a sinister serpent cult to reign as their Evil Prophesied Dalai Lama. His brother, Jason, is in the dark about his brothers' actions or even his existence but is soon clued in by a streetwise NYPD lieutenant. The police want to use Jason as bait in the hopes of luring Kobra out of his Bond Villain lair, but Kobra has other plans.
Plans that involve sending a giant alien robot rampaging through the streets of New York on the hunt for his brother.

As it turns out, Kobra and Jason share a specific cliché trait as some fictional twins are wont to do. As the Corsican Brothers before them and GI Joe's Crimson Twins to follow, Kobra and Jason feel one another's pain.
Not in an empathetic metaphorical sort of way. In a way, where if I smack Jason in the head, Kobra looks up and goes, "Ow! Dammit, who did that?!!!"
You all know what I'm talkin' about.
This puts a damper on Kobra's plan to send his rampaging alien robot across town to kill his brother.

When all is said and done, Jason Lives and Kobra shakes his fist and escapes to bedevil our heroes another day. As to be expected, considering he is the titular character.

If I were a betting man, I'd say a majority of folks aren't scrabbling for copies of 1976's Kobra. I might go so far as to say a lot of readers might not even know who the hell Kobra is, but if the opportunity presents itself, I'd recommend finding out. The Jack Kirby art alone is worth the price of admission.

REVIEW: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Adventures Special #1

Script: Steve Sullivan
Art: Brian Thomas (1st story), Bill Wray (2nd story)

The early 1990s.
When turtles were king.
Transformers was long gone and G.I. Joe had devolved from the far superior Sunbow series to the crappy, crappy DIC treatment, paving the way for TMNT to lord over all of us on weekday afternoons.
Or Saturday mornings . . . depending on where we're at in the timeline.

Anyhow, like most kids my age I was enamored by Ninja Turtles. I had the ridiculous toys, played the often-frustrating video game, and cheered for the movie.
Unlike most kids my age, I was an avid comic nerd. Upon discovering there existed a Ninja Turtles comic book, my head nearly split in twain.  I picked up the awkwardly-titled Eastman and Laird's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Adventures Special no. 1 at a Wal-Mart in Independence, Iowa whilst visiting my grandparents in 1992 and probably hadn't read it in 20 years . . . until today.


Keeping in mind that TMNT Adventures was for the most part a children's comic, it's a pretty well-done book. It consists of two stories, both involving the turtles encountering some sort of hazard to the environment and ecology. The first segment finds the April O'Neil, Master Splinter, and the four turtles camping in the Pacific Northwest and running afoul of lumberjack-robots clear-cutting the forest.
The robots belong to (wait for it) industrialist Shelton Slujj.
Shelton. Slujj.
He introduced himself as "Shelton Slujj, billionaire philanthropist" and it's wonderfully hokey. I really can't even throw any shade at the name.  One of my favorite books is old-school Man-Thing and he had a recurring villain named "F.A. Schist", so there's that.

Anyhow, it seems Mr. Slujj is clear cutting forest to make way for a factory to compress toxic waste for easy storage.
Don't overthink it, just go with the flow . . .
Throw a monkeywrenching eco terrorist and his band of Sasquatch into the mix, along with some friendly misunderstandings, and
We all learn a valuable lesson at the end of the day.
About not destroying the natural habitat of Bigfoot.

The second story opens with the turtles enjoying some r&r after their toxic waste Bigfoot adventure on a yacht with their new pal, Mr. Slujj. 3-hour tour or no, the motley crew is soon shipwrecked and picked up by a Japanese research vessel (read: whaling ship).

Sidebar: The Japanese and a select few other nationalities are permitted to harvest a number of whales per annum for 'research purposes' which is pretty much a load of bologna, and unless you're an Inuit or of some other aboriginal culture you've no business hunting whales any-damn-way.
That's just my opinion from atop my position of white privilege and first world problems.

Anyway, soon after being scooped up by said research vessel we learn that the captain of said ship is all but an Asian Captain Ahab.  His backstory reveals he lost his nephew to a sea serpent attack, and now he sails the Seven Seas seeking vengeance.
Fairly formula but, as this book is geared towards younger readers, it's perfectly acceptable.

At the end of the day, the turtles and Mr. Slujj (still, that name!) prevail against the mad sea captain with, of course, the help of the aforementioned sea serpent. We're left to wonder if the captain learns a valuable lesson about the error of his ways, but I'm inclined to think he was recalcitrant to reform and continued his crusade in unwritten tales.

TMNT Adventures isn't a book I'd pick up these days, but I've got fond memories of reading the comic in the days of yore. If you've a younger reader in the family or circle of friends, I would highly recommend this series.  It's a cartoon put to paper, and may be just the thing for an elementary-schooler, who is a fan of the TMNT franchise but not quite ready for the more mature direction of the current books.
I don't believe the comics are particularly collectible and should be a fairly cheap addition to the collection of a fresh-faced comic fan.

REVIEW: Araknis #1of 4

Creators:  Michael & Mario Ortiz

Story/Pencils:  Michael Ortiz

Story/Inks:  Mario Ortiz

Digital Colors & Graphics:  Gorilla Graphix

Letters:  Robin Spehar

Review:  Art Bee

Once again I am bringing you a floppy book from my dusty box of yesteryear. This time I am sharing Araknis #1. Until it was pulled out of my comic box, its memory was lost to me. Once I started rereading it, my brain began pulling the recessed memories out of my dusty forgotten box of yester-memories. I recall not liking this comic, which is why I never bought the other three issues. 

This story is about a man named Jonathan Blackwell who is possessed by an entity called Araknis, which is some kind of guardian. Part of the story is centered on a villain named Cryptus wanting to capture the Gate of Ages to gain immortality from a demon lord named Asteroth. 

The reason I didn’t like this comic book back then is valid. My issue with it was it's a carbon copy of Todd McFarlane’s Spawn. Heaven versus Hell. News reports. Antihero with demonic powers who had lost his wife. Those are just some of the obvious parallels. The “creators” probably needed to identify themselves as just story writers here. Being a creator is something more than a writer. They have plagiarized too many aspects of Spawn in my opinion, and Morning Star Productions, Inc. and editor, Mike Renegar, should have recognized this. Maybe they had no idea and it was just a coincidence. If that is true, these comic book writers needed to read more comics in the genre they are entering.

The artwork is really good. Its best quality is the backgrounds, which are amazingly detailed. There are only two issues I have with the artwork. The first is the eyes of a woman on page 13. They are really screwed up. The second is the coloring firm, Gorilla Graphix. If they are going to put the work into drawing this comic, find another artist to color it. A “coloring” firm seems like a cheap thing to do.

My current reading reveals this to be a good story, but the similarities to Spawn are too numerous to ignore. I may look into completing the mini-series in the future but will not pay much for them. Part of me feels guilty for just owning it.

REVIEW: Blackhawk #239

Creators: Chuck Cuidera, Bob Powell, Will Eisner

Review: Madman Miller

I scored two issues of this old timer for 2 Washingtons apiece at first sight. I had to have them for the covers alone; they are classically epic in every sense. Pure comic glory. 

I had never heard of Blackhawk or the Blackhawks before DC's New 52 launched. I'm admittedly not a huge fan of or reader of DC comics so I didn’t buy the New 52 books, but I understand the newer incarnation of said series is nothing like its humble Nazi-smashin', Chinese-bashing Grandpappy. The 52 only lasted 8 issues so it must have been heavy on the mehs. I can't say that about this Super Nazi-bashin' issue though. I can’t help it. I love the corny dialogue, the ridiculous battle cry, and those old school ads in these golden oldies get me every time.

Blackhawk is the mysterious Nazi-bashin' leader of the Blackhawk team. He’s more or less the DC equivalent to Marvel's Nick Fury. In his ragtag super-team we have The Golden Centurion in gold armor. He can fire off blasts of pure liquid gold. The Listener is the pj wearing communications expert. The Weapons Expert is the master of weaponry . . .

M'sieu Machine is the French demolitions expert. The Leaper is in a rubber-titanium suit that allows him to leap great distances. And last but not least we have probably the most interesting character, Dr. Hands, the Chinese martial artist and sidekick of Blackhawk with beryllium-encased hands. In the original run Dr. Hands, aka Chop-Chop, started life as the Chinese cook comic relief. 

This issue deals with a super-Nazi killing machine pulling a Captain America and crawling out of a glacier. Iron Hammer thinks WW II is still happening and does his “evil plot” thing. The ace pilots of Team Blackhawk put that Nazi sumbitch outta business and all ends well. Just like every other book of the period it’s pretty much a typical "good guy is always right".

Other than the covers and the history lesson, I found that I really don’t care about this book. It’s just not my kind of thing, but good for them. I’ll just buy for the covers, not the cheese.